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Jokes
Morning at the casino. Two bored dealers are delighted when an attractive lady comes to their crap table and puts down $20,000 down on a single roll of the dice.
"I hope you don't mind" she says "but I feel much luckier when I'm topless."
With that she removes both blouse and bra. She rolls the dice, yelling "Momma needs a new shirt!" Then she jumps up and down and hugs the dealers.
"YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one to them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!"Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool - nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won $100,000.
He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home --
arriving back 3 a.m. He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.
The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house.
"You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my $100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor.
The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."
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